Long time no see....

So, it’s been two years since I last updated my blog. Once again I’ve been useless at this blogging lark. Does it make it any better that I have regularly thought about writing posts for the blog, but the longer I’ve left it the harder it’s been to actually get round to it.

If you know me, or you’ve followed my previous blogs, you’ll know things tend to change a lot for me!! My last post was about me having met a lovely guy (G) and being really happy and of course things have moved on somewhat since then!!!

I’m no longer seeing him, we’re still friends as he is a really nice guy, but two years ago I decided I wanted to be single and stay single. I loved having my own space and spending my time how I wanted to and not worrying about anyone else apart from my children. I decided that I would stay single until my children were grown up and then I’d consider another relationship, but until then I’d be happily single. There was no way I would consider having anyone move in with me, as I say, I liked my space far too much and really didn’t want to share it with anyone else apart from the children.

A week or so later I got a message from a friend I’d met at dancing a couple of years earlier but who I hadn’t seen or heard from for over a year. He wondered if I fancied meeting up for lunch and a catch-up…

Well, to cut a long story very short, despite me being adamant that I was staying single and under no circumstances would be allowing any man to move into my house we have now been living together for over a year. Sometimes, no matter what you do or say, if you’re meant to be with someone then you’ll end up together….  And yes, I am happier than I ever could have imagined!!

One of the (very many) things I love about Adi is that right from the very start he has been adamant that the children come first and has always taken a genuine interest in them and wanted to get to know them, accepting that each one of them is an individual and that they all have their own quirks and likes and dislikes. The first time he came round to meet the children they immediately took to him and there was a moment when my youngest asked him if he’d play a game with him. Adi got straight down on the floor and played the game with him and that little voice in my head said, “He’s the one!!”

It’s lovely to see how well all of the children get on with him, he treats them with respect although he also regularly makes them groan with his awful jokes. My eldest especially has developed a good relationship with him and they will have a laugh and a joke, often at my expense, lol.

Apart from all of that excitement there’s been lots of other things going on too.  I’m no longer studying with the Open University, instead I’m currently doing an Access course at my local college and have been offered a place at Lincoln University which I am incredibly excited about. I had signed up to do the Access course way back in 2009 but a wobble in my confidence about my ability to do it and no support from anyone around me meant I gave it up before I even began, but studying with the OU made me realise that I could easily do the Access course if I could cope with the equivalent of second year at uni level study and Adi has been incredibly supportive, to the point of giving up his job and taking a more local one with flexible hours to help me out when I’ve needed it. I know if I’d ever had a moment where I thought I couldn’t do it then he’d have done whatever it took to make sure I didn’t give up.

In other exciting news I am now divorced at last. It’s been six years but I now have that piece of paper that marks my freedom.  Once I’d got over the initial excitement of receiving the final paperwork I did feel a bit like when it’s your birthday and you don’t actually feel any different to how you did the day before but every now and then I have moments when I think, “I’m free! I’m free!” The children all took the news well, as I had expected them to as it’s been so long since I left their dad anyway. They did ask if I was going to change my name now but I like my surname, I chose it for us when we all changed our surname about 10 years ago because my married name was just so horrendously awful. So, the answer is no, I’m not going to change it just for the sake of it.

As exciting as getting divorced was, something even MORE exciting happened last year – I went to see New Order play live for the very first time (for me, not for them!!). I’ve been a fan of theirs since the late 80s when I was growing up in Manchester and I still have very vivid memories of listening to their CDs on my discman on the bus to college of a morning. Yet in all that time I’ve never seen them live. Adi bought me the CD of them playing at Bestival and I told him that next time they do a concert I’m going to see them no matter how much it costs, so you can imagine my excitement when they announced last year that along with their new album (which is fantastic) they were doing a tour and I managed to get the first tickets for their Wolverhampton gig as soon as they came on sale.

The show was amazing, not only were we first in the queue (much to one fan’s disgust as he apparently is always the first in the queue but we’d been there for an hour already when he turned up) but we also got to the front of the stage and just happened to be right where Bernard stood for most of the show. I can’t put into words how fantastic it was to actually see them play live and to be in a crowd of several thousand people all singing along together.

Of course, being human we’re never satisfied, and getting to see them once wasn’t enough, next I decided I have to see them live in Manchester where it all began. No prizes for guessing where we’re off to in July…..!!!!!!

I’ve seen quite a few music and comedy gigs over the past year or so – Josh Widdicombe with my eldest was just brilliant. He is absolutely hilarious live, we will definitely be going to see him again next time he tours. Joe Lycett was really good too although I was really surprised that he was on in such a small venue with only a couple of hundred in the audience. Sarah Millican was good, but not as good as I was expecting her to be from seeing her on TV.

We took my 15yo to see Imagine Dragons last year and they were amazing. I have to admit to not knowing their music that well until that night but the show was amazing and I am now a huge fan. We hadn’t planned to take her to it, but I got two of my other daughters tickets to see Panic! At the Disco and didn’t want M to feel left out so knowing she liked Imagine Dragons I looked to see if they were touring and it just so happened they were on in Nottingham the following Friday, hence a very quick purchase. It was M’s first concert and it was so lovely to see her face, she absolutely loved it, and I happened to bump into someone from college too   Panic! Was fab too. That was S’s first concert and she loved it too despite the noise. Amazingly, although we were a long way back in the queue we managed to get into the front row for that too so both girls were extremely happy!! Next week it’s my eldest son’s turn and we’re going to see Muse which I’m sure will be great too.

Happy New Year!

So, it's New Year, the time to look back on the previous year and look ahead to the new one stretched out in front of us like a big blank page ready to be filled in with all the things that happen to us over the next 12 months.

2013 was quite a good year for me.  I fulfilled several ambitions, started on yet another Open University module, made a big decision and had a lot of fun times with my friends and children.

It didn't end too well, my Christmas plans went out of the window when J developed appendicitus and had to have surgery on Christmas Eve.  He was such a brave little man, didn't complain too much, was really good when they gave him the anaesthetic and when he came round afterwards he told the nurse looking after him that "It hurts a bit but that's to be expected as I have just had an operation".  Awwwww!!!!!

He recovered really quickly and was eating and drinking very soon after he got back up to the ward.  We had to stay in two nights so we woke up on the ward on Christmas morning and being very tired and a bit emotional I shed a tear or two when I discovered that Santa had left a pillowcase of presents on J's bed overnight (I must have been fast asleep as I normally wake up at every little sound when I'm in that place).  What a lovely thing to do for all the children, and he even left me a box of chocolates.

We did get a big Christmas dinner in the hospital before we came home which was nice, then it was back to the house to wait for the rest of the children to come back from their unexpected stay at their dad's and opening more presents.  Three of J's older sisters and his brothers all made him get well soon cards which he seemed pleased with (his eldest sister didn't as she was at home alone keeping things running here).

We had our Christmas dinner on Boxing day and then a quiet rest of the week as I was exhausted and a bit stressed out plus J needed to fully recover as well.

So, it wasn't our best Christmas ever but I will hopefully make up for it next year with them as long as there are no more emergencies.  It wasn't my worst one either though.  That was 10 years ago when I lost a baby just a few days before Christmas and then the central heating broke down at 7pm on Christmas eve.  Now *that* was a shit Christmas!!

No photos as they're all on my phone, sorry.

Your best year yet?

If you read my previous blog you may recall that this year I've been Creating my Best Year.  At the start of the year I wrote a list of all the things I'd like to do and achieve this year and it's been really satisfying to tick them off as I've done them.  The latest tick on the list has been learning to dance the Shim Sham which was great fun.

I'll definitely be getting the 2014 version and if you'd like to create your best year yet I recommend you get yours here

A small review

First of all before I begin I need to point out that although I do know the person whose website and products I am about to review I have not been asked to write about it, nor have I been given any incentive to write about it.

Right, that bit out of the way I want to recommend The Indigo Chick candles and wax melts.  Now, I am very fussy when it comes to scents.  There are very few perfumes that I like and although I do love Yankee Candles I never buy them without trying them first.

As I was a bit worried about buying something that I couldn't sniff first I decided to order a set of the wax melts that Rozelle makes as a way of deciding which candle(s) I was going to order.  That was months ago and I still haven't decided because they are all so gorgeous!!  I had promised myself that I'd get some for my birthday and just haven't managed to whittle down the options still and now she's only gone and brought out a load more fragrances for the Autumn/Winter/Christmas seasons.

Buy with confidence as I am sure you will love whichever fragrances you go for (and if you don't you can always send them to me instead lololol).  I can't even recommend any ones in particular because they are all so lovely.  The great thing about the box of melts is that it made the room smell gorgeous just sitting on the side (it still does despite only having a couple left!!)

One little tip if you go for the melts is to pop them into those silicone muffin cases you can buy quite cheaply from places like Wilkos and put that onto the dish on your burner.  You then don't have the problem of not being able to remove them from the dish and can swap fragrances over much easier.

So instead of buying from a large company buy from Rozelle, a work at home mum. :-)

Shop here

I love Autumn – the nights drawing in, the temperature dropping, the perfect excuse to light the fire and close the curtains early, cosy slippers, warm clothes and a bit of knitting and crochet to keep my hands busy while catching up with the TV I’ve recorded.

I have several projects on the go at the moment.  Socks for the boys which are slightly fiddly on 2.5mm dpns but I do enjoy making them.  The first pair is this rainbow one for Jack.

I also have a crochet blanket on the go.  I have to admit to having a bit of an obsession with making blankets, you can never have too many, perfect for throwing over the back of a sofa or chair and to have to hand for children falling asleep on the sofa or when they are poorly and need to snuggle up on a makeshift bed on the sofa.  Or just for covering up when it’s chilly.

The pattern is from Attic24 and the yarn is Stylecraft from Deramores.  I’m about three quarters of the way there with this one but I’m already planning another couple in different colours.  I love the granny stitch stripes and it’s nice to work without having to actually think about it, it’s perfect for doing while watching television.  Another nice thing about making blankets is that once they get to a certain size they are big enough to cover you up as you work and keep you nice and cosy at the same time.  J  This one is so big that it covers three of us in a row so it’s going to be lovely and cosy once it’s finished.

This is Amos enjoying it while I'm working on it.

November is also when we celebrate the last two birthdays of the year.  Both children had a lovely day and were very lucky to get lots of lovely presents.  Now we're looking forward to Christmas and then the birthdays start again in February when I have three in three days to celebrate (and not a lot of chance of me forgetting G's birthday when it's sandwiched in between two of the children lol).

Why The Girl With No Regrets?

For many years I listened to a song on the Terry Hall album Laugh called The Girl With No Regrets and wanted to be her. To have the courage to leave my unhappy marriage. Eventually I did leave and I have no regrets.

 as the world keeps on turning she needs to stand still
she's given her everything it's making her ill
 so tired of loving someone she hates
to leave now or never it's getting so late (she just can't wait to get away)

 but who in the world would care for the girl with no regrets
whose party days are over
all she needs is to breathe
 just a little time to breathe

 she slips on her raincoat and heads for a storm
 been driven to hell and back weathered it all
 she keeps her resistance with vitamin c
then takes off that wedding ring that spells misery (D.I.V.O.R.C.E.)

 she knows that if she breaks him then maybe then she'll make him
 the kind of fool who falls for the girl with no regrets
whose party days are over all she needs is to breathe
just a little time to breathe

October update

Since I last wrote anything quite a lot has happened – it’s been over 10 months!!! I know, I know, I’m terrible at this blogging lark lol

In one of my last posts I mentioned I was doing a year planner with a list of things I want to do this year – one of them was to see Anna Fur Laxis perform live. I didn’t achieve that but I did go one better!!

 A local(ish) burlesque club organised a pin-up hair and make-up workshop which was run by Anna so I actually got to meet her. I was soooo star-struck I made myself laugh. After she did my hair for me I decided I was never washing it again but sadly despite trying not to move overnight my victory roll had fallen out by the morning (and yes I have washed it since then lololol).

Anna was lovely, I’m even more in love with her than I was before I met her and I am determined to see her perform live next year when she’s back from performing in Shanghai’s Cirque le soir. Oh, and I didn’t leave the workshop empty handed……

Yes, I went home with a pair of her shoes. Ok, they’re two sizes too big for me but I really don’t care and yes, I do sometimes take them out of the wardrobe and stroke them – I wish I’d got her to sign them for me. ;-)

This is a photo of all of us ladies after we’d finished applying our make-up.

Photograph reproduced with permission from Louise Searby of PJS photography

 In August it was the third anniversary of me and the children moving here. I can’t believe it’s been that long since I made my bid for freedom and left my husband. Looking back over the past three years I have changed so much from the person I was then to the person I am now.

 In September I reached the big four-oh – I’d been dreading it until a couple of months beforehand when all of a sudden I found myself looking forward to it. I finally feel grown up now!!

 Also in September was R’s 18th birthday – the fact I now have two adult children makes me feel even older than turning 40!!

The other big event to happen in September was another milestone – my youngest started school. For the first time in over 20 years I have no pre-school children. I was expecting to feel a bit sad about it but I actually feel really pleased that I have now moved on from the baby/pre-school stage.

 I’ve just started a new module with the OU. I decided to change my study path from history to the social sciences so it’s going to be interesting getting to know a whole new discipline but I’m really looking forward to getting stuck into it.